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The Frustration Of A Divorced Father

September 10, 2014

Below is a posting I put on Facebook last night, through utter frustration. Although there are no shortage of deadbeat dads out there that deserve to be taken out back to the north 40 and left in a ditch somewhere, there are also dads like me that want to be a father, want to be a part of their children’s lives. We seem to be getting treated as if we are deadbeats also. And I for 1 am getting pushed to my breaking point very quickly.

It is time the system changes! We need to do something because it has become evident that what is going on is not working.

I am lied to, I am lied about, the context of everything I do is twisted around to make me look like a bad guy, especially to my boys (and in the past my immediate family). I own nothing and in the last 5 years have not had 2 nickels to rub together, new clothes or shoes are but a distant memory, I can’t even afford new work socks right now. I have had to drive my vehicle without insurance at times and without a license at others. Sometimes I can’t go see my son to help him work on his car because I don’t have enough gas in my vehicle, the gas I do have needs to get me to work, and there is no money for more gas. Yet they want more. And more. And then punish me when I can’t give more. I live my life looking over my shoulder waiting to be pounced on.  It sucks going through life wondering when you will be kicked down the next time, when someone will rub salt into the wound. And by no means am I the only guy this is happening to, in fact I would guess that over 90% of the men this is happening to won’t admit it because they are scared that they will be labeled a wimp or a coward.

The fact is you guys are being wimps and cowards! Suck it up and be a man. Be honest with how you are feeling. Stand up and say no more.

Because it is time to stand up and say no more. It is time to take a stand and let the system know that this is no longer acceptable. It is time to let our ex-wives know that we are parents just as much as them and it is not OK to alienate us from our children. It is time to stand up and tell the deadbeats it is not OK to walk away, they are making the rest of us look bad. Maybe we need to start publicly shaming parents that want to be idiots when they get divorced. Hence the reason my first book is called “How To NOT Be An Idiot When You Get Divorced”.

I can’t do this by myself. 1 guy can’t make a difference. You need to join with me if we are going to make a difference. My ex won’t listen to a word I say, and probably neither will yours. But maybe if we start a movement, with thousands of people we can do something positive for divorce. Maybe then the people that are not listening, the people that are the real problem, will take notice and realize they are not actually as awesome as they thought.

Call me names for writing this blog. Sue me. Lie about me. Make up a story about why what I am writing is wrong.  I just don’t care anymore. There is something seriously wrong here and it needs to change. Someone needs to say something and if nobody else has the balls to say what needs to be said I will. DIVORCE NEEDS TO CHANGE BEFORE IT GETS ANY WORSE, AND YOU NEED TO HELP THAT CHANGE HAPPEN!!!

So here is my Facebook rant………..

I would not normally bitch like this on Facebook but here goes……back in Feb I went back to court. The judge hammered me to the wall, basing my new support payments on my ex-wife’s word, not actual proof. I have been left with less than $500.00 a month to live on. I have made every effort to follow the court order but now that I am a few hundred dollars behind in payments (like that wasn’t going to happen) my license is about to be taken away, which will leave me no way to make an income, as I work as an electrician and need to drive. This will make it impossible for me to make an income at all! The system is actually forcing me to fail.
Something is wrong with our system and desperately needs to change. I have never done anything to deserve being treated like this (even at my worst) It’s no wonder the rate of suicide is on the rise. And what about my boys? How bad is the system going to treat them when they are divorced men? What about your boys? My Father never got treated this bad when he and my mom divorced, if my boys or your boys get treated worse than me they will probably kill themselves or someone else.
What the fuck is wrong with people today? I don’t have a problem paying child support but why do I have to be thrown to the wolves? How does anyone expect me to live on $500/month? It’s impossible!!!! I am tired of being treated like shit, and lots of other men are as well. Getting divorced does not give anyone the right to pound me or other men into dust!
If you want to join me in creating a solution please let me know. We can’t do anything as individuals, but as a large group we can, and it’s time to do something.

Try tuning in to my Blog Talk Radio Show on Sun Sept. 14, 2014 @ 4:30 pm mountain.

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