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When Your Ex Falls On Hard Times

June 18, 2013

More and more we are seeing parents falling on tough economic times. Although this is to be expected when you are dealing with an economic system as corrupt as ours here in North America, I don’t believe we are dealing with the situation properly when it comes to parenting while divorced. It seems to me that money has taken a front seat to any type of parenting these days, seems it has taken a front seat to common sense as well, especially when your parenting situation is divorced.

Kids need their parents, both parents, and both parents equally. And it shouldn’t matter how much money their other parent has. Now, let’s be honest, there are parents out there that have lots of money, and decide to bail on their kids. This is not the parent I am talking about, although, we will talk about that unfortunate situation in the future. I am talking about the parent that wants to be a part of their kids lives, but goes through something tough, especially related to money. What typically happens is children are held as ransom, if you don’t pay, you don’t get time with them. And I don’t think I’m the only one noticing this happening  more and more.

I want you to think about that for a second, and then change gears. Rather than look at this situation focusing on the other parent, focus on the child(ren), and you will realize that it’s not the child(ren) being held from the other parent, it’s the other parent being held from the child(ren). Divorce just doesn’t get any sicker if you ask me.

In my situation, a devastating breakdown caused me to be almost  bed ridden for nearly three years. In the process I lost my business, my health, but most notably I lost  my relationship with my two boys. I made every effort to work with my ex in a cooperative manner, as best as I could under the circumstances. Unfortunately I was called a host of names, and every story that has made it’s way back to me is a complete fabrication, and my boys have been turned against me. At first glance we may shrug this off as just something that happens in divorce, but what about my two boys? What will happen to them in the future? What happens to them when they grow up in an environment that is not only dishonest, but where unrealistic expectations are put on money? More important, what will be the effect on them when they become aware of what they have been through?

Already the effects are starting to show themselves, at only 15 and 17.

So please remember! Money is not an indicator of someones ability to parent, more money does not mean better parent, less money does not mean worse parent. And also remember that those of you that keep your kids from their other parent because you don’t feel you are getting enough money totally suck and shouldn’t even be a parent

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