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The Egoic Nature Of Divorce

March 16, 2012

Welcome back, thanks for checking out this latest blog. Hopefully you have read my last few blog postings because having read them will give you a greater understanding of the lesson in this one.

In my last blog, I spoke of the effects of divorce on children and described some of the common characteristics in divorce that end up affecting the children. After that blog was posted, I was amazed at how many people not only liked it, but commented on it. Unfortunately, nobody asked a question. You see, most people believe there are two sides to every story. Absolutely not true, especially in divorce. There are three sides. Your side, my side, and the truth. I expected at least one person to read that last blog and ask me what I had done to help create the negative environment I describe. But that is the unfortunate state of divorce at this particular time, most people believe that one of the two parties involved is right and the other is wrong. In almost every case that I have studied,  people will do just about anything to make sure that their story is the one that is right. This of course is  the unfortunate nature of the  human egoic condition, which gets amplified greatly when divorce is involved.

The egoic nature of divorce is not simply limited to the two people going through their particular divorce. There are friends, family and co-workers involved and everyone wants their particular combatant to win. (nobody wins in divorce by the way, except the lawyers) Since posting my last blog I have already received two separate messages from someone who knows my ex-wife, basically telling me how horrible of a person I am and that there are two sides to every story. That’s funny, they don’t know my side, they didn’t even ask me to explain myself, nor did they ask me to back up my claims. I was attacked, and all I am doing is trying to help society make a positive change.  They have now engaged in a negative energy that will undoubtably affect my children in one way or another. Not only that, but they will, without even realizing it, direct  negative energy towards their own family as well, unconsciously affecting them, we should pay attention to how easy it is to become a part of the ego and negativity. 

Now, let’s go back to some info from the last blog, forty-five percent of the population are divorced, and now your friends and family are engaging in an imaginary battle, trying to hurt your ex and be right. All the while, not actually knowing the truth of the situation. This is of course because the truth sometimes hurts, that’s why people are ignoring the effects of divorce on children and society. If we conservatively use half of the fifty-five percent of the population that aren’t divorced, engaging in the war going on in someone elses divorce, we now have seventy-two and a half percent of the population engaging in selfish, hateful, egoic behavior. Can you grasp that? Almost all of our population is engaging in egoic behavior, it’s no wonder the world is in the state it is. I believe that  the way people are behaving when it comes to divorce is causing so much hate to go out into our universe, that if we carry on the way we are, we will self destruct without even realizing it.

So, since nobody asked, let me just tell you what my role has been in my divorce, this also being the  biggest reason I created Fathers Aware.

For the better part of my life I was completely unaware, absolutely full of ego. I was angry, full of blame and denial. I had never been taught how to behave like a man, there wasn’t one around. I was scared and insecure, like most guys I exaggerated almost everything I said because I was ashamed of who I was, I wanted people to see someone better. I needed to be right, and didn’t want to hear your opinion. I was without compassion and empathy, not treating my family the way they deserved. I engaged in illegal activity, and I thought that who I was, was determined by how much money I had and what kind of vehicle I drove. Sound familiar? I’m willing to bet that a good many of you reading this know the guy I’m describing. Without question I was an individual that, for the better part of his life, helped create a decline in the collective awareness of the planet.

I have acted in ways that, although I am not proud of,  I am grateful for, because it has brought me to where I am now.  God moves in mysterious ways and in November of 2009, he gave me the choice to either continue living the way I was or make a significant change. Through deciding to make a change, my world has been opened up to all that surrounds us, and is available to us. 

 Unfortunately when I went out to seek some guidance, I found nothing that was specifically designed for men going through the changes we face in this situation. So I created Fathers Aware because I wanted to improve my life, and be a better father. I created Fathers Aware to bring  help my way, and in the process not only learned a great deal about myself, but also a great deal about what is going wrong in the world. You see, men have lost their way, they are unbalanced, and are actually creating a negative cycle that has begun to spin out of control. Men have a responsibility that is being shirked, and although in most cases I don’t believe that women actually understand why they are mad, they are mad nonetheless because we all have an awareness, even if it is unconscious. And the cycle begins. Men have lost their way, women are mad, men get mad that the women are mad, and where does it stop? It can only stop when we become aware. And the collective awareness of our planet is at an all time low.

We need to deal with what is going on. We need to stop picking a side. And we need to start being honest.

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