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Why Fathers Aware??

December 18, 2011

I don’t suppose it will be enough for me to just write “because enough is enough”, will it? No, I didn’t think so.

So let me get a little bit personal.

I feel that I have been lied to and manipulated. I feel that I have been lied about and taken advantage of. I have had my rights as a parent taken away, unwillingly, and as far as being a parent goes, I am treated as nothing more than gum on the bottom of someone’s shoe. I have had to watch, helplessly, as my children are taught nothing of becoming men, they are not taught about responsibility or hard work, and it has always seemed as though there is nothing I can do about it. Society has forgotten that men are parents too. I am scared, mad, I feel lost, I miss my two boys terribly, sometimes so much that I just sit down and cry, and I am not alone in how I feel. There are men, hundreds of thousands, if not millions of men around the world that most probably feel the same way I do, but they are much too scared to stand up and say anything. These men are scared because they think that society will label them as a wimp, a coward, or a host of other “labels” that really mean nothing.

As Fathers Aware became a reality, and I started working  with other men, I noticed that most of us feel the same way, but only a few of us are strong enough to show our true feelings. For most men, they succumb to the way they are treated because we have been told this is how it is, for the rest, they just leave. Rather than try to deal with their ex-wife, or our corrupt legal system, some men just leave everything behind and start a new life, yes, things have gotten that bad that men chose to just bail on their own children.

I have made mistakes, and I have done things and treated people in a way that I am not proud of. But I have never done anything to deserve being treated the way that I, and countless other men are treated on a daily basis. When we enter the world of divorce, we are pushed aside, and  we don’t seem to matter. Well, we do matter, and people need to start realizing that before things get much more out of control. Our children deserve to have both of their parents in their lives. In fact, society deserves it as well. Research has proven that when children grow up without spending enough time with their father, things like alcoholism, drug abuse, abuse towards women, violence, unemployment, failed relationships, and a host of other problems becomes much more prevalent in their lives. Of course I don’t need to tell you that these types of problems filter out into society.

It is no longer enough for us to be simply used as an extra pay cheque, there is a balance that is no longer balanced because so many children do not get to spend equal time with both of their parents. Now, of course, in some situations it is better that the children don’t see one (or in rare cases, even both) parents. But, it is so vitally important that in most cases children spend equal time with both parents, all I really need to do is remind you to look at the way society is breaking down to prove my point. Everything in society starts with parenting, and men need to be more included.

I created Fathers Aware because I am sick and tired of being treated like crap, and I am tired of listening to other men talk about how they are treated like crap. But most of all, I am tired of looking out into society and watching children, innocent children falter because they have not had equal time with their father as they grew up. I created Fathers Aware so that we could make a much-needed change in the world, a change that needs to be made as quickly as possible, before it is too late.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Pondering Prose permalink
    December 19, 2011 08:35

    I too have been treated like gum on their shoes. And I’m a mother!

    • December 20, 2011 09:47

      This is also one of the goals of Fathers Aware, to help make sure that men treat women with respect during separation/divorce. I will be diving into this subject in the near future. Thank you for helping create some awareness on this subject

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